7 Costly Mistakes People Make During a Texas Divorce

Divorce is one of the most stressful experiences a person can go through, and the decisions you make during this period will affect your finances, your relationship with your children, and your future for years to come. Unfortunately, people under emotional stress often make avoidable errors that end up costing them dearly. As a Board-Certified Family Law Specialist who has handled hundreds of divorce cases in Houston, I have seen these mistakes repeatedly. Here are seven of the most costly ones and how to avoid them.

Mistake #1: Oversharing on Social Media

In the age of Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok, this is perhaps the most common and easily avoidable mistake. Many people do not realize that their social media posts can and will be used as evidence in their divorce case. Opposing attorneys routinely monitor social media accounts and even subpoena deleted posts.

Posts that can hurt your case include:

• Photos showing lavish spending when you are claiming you cannot afford child support or spousal maintenance
• Pictures with a new romantic partner, which can affect custody evaluations and property division if adultery is alleged
• Angry or disparaging comments about your spouse, which judges view very negatively, especially in custody cases
• Posts showing alcohol or drug use, which can be devastating to your custody case
• Check-ins at locations that contradict statements you have made to the court

The safest approach: Deactivate or severely limit your social media activity during the divorce. If you must use social media, assume that everything you post will be shown to a judge.

Mistake #2: Hiding Assets or Income

Some spouses try to hide assets, underreport income, or transfer property to friends or family members to keep those assets out of the divorce. This is not only unethical but illegal. Texas courts have powerful tools for uncovering hidden assets, including formal discovery, subpoenas for financial records, and forensic accounting.

If a court determines that you have attempted to hide assets, the consequences can be severe:

• The court may award a larger share of the community estate to your spouse
• You may be held in contempt of court
• You may be ordered to pay your spouse's attorney fees
• Your credibility will be destroyed, affecting every other issue in the case

For a detailed look at how property division works in Texas, including community versus separate property, read our in-depth guide.

Mistake #3: Dating Before the Divorce Is Final

While Texas does not technically prohibit dating during a divorce, starting a new relationship before your divorce is finalized can create significant problems:

• Adultery claims: Texas recognizes fault-based divorce grounds, including adultery. Even if you and your spouse have been separated for months, evidence of a new romantic relationship can be used to support an adultery claim, which may affect property division.
• Custody impact: If you introduce a new partner to your children too soon, or if your new partner has a questionable background, it can negatively impact your custody case.
• Emotional escalation: A new relationship often inflames the other spouse, making negotiations more difficult and increasing the likelihood of an expensive, contested trial.
• Financial exposure: Money spent on a new partner during the divorce can be characterized as waste of community assets.

The safest approach: Wait until your divorce is final before beginning a new relationship. If you are already in a relationship, keep it as private as possible and do not introduce your partner to your children.

Mistake #4: Ignoring or Violating Temporary Orders

During the divorce process, the court may issue temporary orders governing child custody, child support, spousal support, use of the marital home, and conduct during the case. These orders have the full force of law, and violating them can result in contempt of court charges, fines, and even jail time.

Common temporary order violations include:

• Failing to pay court-ordered support
• Denying the other parent their scheduled time with the children
• Moving money out of accounts in violation of a restraining order
• Canceling insurance coverage
• Making major purchases or taking on debt without court approval

Even if you disagree with a temporary order, you must comply with it until it is modified by the court. Your attorney can file a motion to modify if circumstances have changed.

Mistake #5: Trying to Handle a Complex Divorce Yourself

Online legal document services and DIY divorce kits may seem like a cost-effective option, but they carry significant risks, especially in cases involving:

• Substantial assets or debts
• Business ownership
• Retirement accounts or pensions
• Children and custody disputes
• Allegations of family violence
• Spousal maintenance claims

A poorly drafted divorce decree can create problems that last for years. Common issues with DIY divorces include inadequate property division language that creates enforcement problems, failure to address retirement account division properly (which may require a QDRO), unclear custody and possession language, and overlooking tax implications.

The cost of fixing these mistakes after the divorce is almost always more than the cost of hiring a qualified attorney in the first place. If your divorce involves anything beyond the most straightforward circumstances, professional legal representation is an investment in your future.

Mistake #6: Making Decisions Based on Emotion Rather Than Strategy

Divorce is emotional. Feelings of anger, betrayal, sadness, and fear are natural. However, allowing emotions to drive your legal decisions is one of the most expensive mistakes you can make.

Common examples of emotionally driven decisions include:

• Fighting over the house out of sentimentality when keeping it does not make financial sense
• Refusing to negotiate or compromise out of anger, which drives up legal fees and delays resolution
• Seeking "revenge" through the legal system, which almost always backfires and makes you look unreasonable to the judge
• Giving up important rights just to get the divorce over with quickly
• Using children as pawns to punish the other parent, which harms the children and damages your case

A good family law attorney will help you separate the emotional aspects of your divorce from the legal and financial strategy. Consider working with a therapist or counselor alongside your attorney to process the emotional challenges while making clear-headed legal decisions.

Mistake #7: Not Hiring a Board-Certified Family Law Attorney

Not all attorneys are created equal. In Texas, the Board of Legal Specialization certifies attorneys who have demonstrated substantial experience, passed a rigorous examination, and been evaluated by their peers and judges. Only a small percentage of Texas attorneys hold this designation.

Hiring a general practice attorney or an attorney who only occasionally handles family law cases can leave you at a significant disadvantage, especially if your spouse has retained a specialist. A Board-Certified Family Law attorney will:

• Understand the nuances of Texas family law, including recent changes to the law
• Know the local judges, their preferences, and how they tend to rule
• Have experience handling cases similar to yours
• Be able to anticipate issues and develop proactive strategies
• Have a network of experts, including forensic accountants, business valuators, and child custody evaluators

The right attorney will not only protect your interests but can often save you money in the long run by avoiding unnecessary litigation and achieving efficient resolutions.

Protect Yourself by Making Smart Decisions

Every divorce is different, but these mistakes are remarkably consistent across cases. The good news is that all of them are avoidable with the right guidance. By staying off social media, being honest about your finances, keeping your emotions in check, respecting court orders, and working with a qualified attorney, you put yourself in the strongest possible position to protect your interests and move forward with your life.